The New Twenty

So everyone keeps saying that I don't need to worry about when I turn thirty because thirty is the new twenty. Here's a newsflash for you: I don't want to repeat twenty. The only reason somone would ever want to do all that crap again is if they never really did it the first time. By that I mean all of those college kids who never actually had a real life, or at least didn't really get out to do anything. I, on the other hand, wasn't repressed. I got out and had fun. I went to bars. I went to raves. I did drugs. I drank. I did all of these things to amazing excess. It really is surprising that I'm not dead.

I guess that I could take the higher road on this one and believe people mean something else. Maybe instead of meaning that you can go out and party like you were supposed to when you twenty, instead you can do all the things that lead to success that you were supposed to do. Like finish school. Or maybe it just means that you can correct the mistakes that you made while you were younger. Make up with your family that you ran away from, start paying child support for the various children you fathered, quit going to church, pay attention to politics, those sorts of things. Or maybe, just maybe, it means that people feel like they need more time in their lives because they can't handle getting old.

There isn't all that much wrong with getting old, and none of it can be fixed by lying to yourself about how old you really are. All I can tell that is bad so far is losing your hair, joint problems, and the fact that you are actually catching up to cougars in age. Oh, and milfs are starting to be the same age as you, as opposed to your friends' moms. I haven't noticed any slowing of the libido, or anything of the like. Oh, I am noticing that the age range of women I am attracted to hasn't changed at all, which is not really a cause for concern as long as I am in the right state at the time.