So I had a couple of amazing blog posts to do for you all, but I got fucked up and forgot them. This is what happens when you are as much of an alchy as I am. Oh, and some guy at the new hotel keeps sending me all these things to print out for him that I think I might just keep: Drink recipes. Some of them even look pretty good.
Speaking of the new hotel, I really like it so far. The front desk staff is very competent, friendly, and laid back, as is most everyone else I have met. It's interesting to know that my AGM does more drugs than I do. The system is a simpler remake of one I used to use, so I just jumped right on in on that. The biggest irritation is the fact that they don't have credit cards integrated into the system. It might be an older property, but it's very well kept up, and half the rooms have an amazing view of the space needle.
As for my other things, the bar is still going well, of course. Progress with Mala has gone interestingly. I got really drunk one night and hit on her perhaps a bit more blatantly than I needed too, but now she seems to be fairly interested, but a little unsure of what to do about it. I love the beginning parts of a seduction I really shouldn't do. In that same line, I am also looking to see who at the new property I want to work my magic on. So far there is one girl in accounting that's a smoking hot little Asian with just enough of an accent to light me up a little, and all the girls at the front desk are cute, but way off limits because I am their boss. We'll see if there is anyone in house keeping or the restaurant that is worth my time. Oh, and there is another chick at the bar who might be interested, but she wants me to grow a full beard. That's not happening, no matter how hot she is, or how cool her dog is. Also, on Friday night there was another really cool, hot chick that was hanging around outside with me for a fair portion of the night. I think she'll be back for some more of the Cox; they always are. And while I might be seeing Jenny a bit more often than I should, at least this way I stay out of trouble from spending too much time at the bar trolling for sluts to take home.
One more drastically important thing occurred yesterday. As a welcome gift from my new boss at the new hotel I got a porno mag that had been found in one of the rooms. Granted, they really don't help me, and I don't masturbate, so normally it would only be a kinda funny story, but because this is me, other weird things happened that mattered. Simone and I only have the one house key so far, and because I got home before she did yesterday I was locked out. This wouldn't have been a big deal if I had had something to read other than that porno mag. Like I said, the mags don't do much for me, but you'd have to be dead to not get a little horny after spending 40 minutes flipping through one. The only things that kept me from going straight to the bar to kill time, or get laid was that I didn't want to go out wearing my work clothes, and I had to work at 6am. So instead I ended up horny and had to call Jenny to come over, which she didn't manage to do. Guess I'm going to the bar tonight. It's been a week and a half since I dumped a load, I can't wait that long. Granted I've been laid a couple times in that time, but I haven't finished. I can't take much more of this, I need to get laid.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Death By Stein
I know it's strange lately to see me post things two days in a row, but sometimes I really just have to tell the story before I forget it. Granted I probably already forgot about 60% of the story anyways due to alcohol, but it still needs to be told.
Last night, when I got off work at the hotel, I went up the street to The Great Nabob, collectively known as The Bar, My Bar, and My Real Home. I wasn't planning to go up there last night. I wanted to go home and unpack, and even maybe get some sleep. I did eventually sleep, but lets not skip to the end like that. The whole reason I even went up there was because my new boss said he'd be up there last night, so, obviously, he wasn't. And then events forced my hand, so I stayed for longer than I should have.
When you go to a bar where you know everyone it's a lot like Cheers, only without the corny music. But that means that you are at least partially beholden to all those people. So if someone's birthday starts at midnight, you stay, and because it's a bar, you drink. If you're anything like me (and I know all of you are) that means you drink a LOT. B-Rad, Ben, Palani, Heidi, Jeff, Jeff's dog Sadie, Carl, Clinton and his girlfriend, Devlin, Chris, Scotty, Jenny, Alicia, John, Allison, Me, and the birthday girl, Karla. That was the approximate population of the bar throughout the time I was there. Oh, and two people no one knew.
I started with three Yaze (a ginger infused vodka that I love) and tonics in about the first 20 minutes. Karla makes them doubles for me. After that I switched to beer for a bit, and had three of those in me as well by the time midnight rolled around. We had also been doing a little detective work on who had stolen the Maker's Mark painting, and had found the most likely suspect. To celebrate her birthday and the detective work Karla got everyone in the bar a Washington Apple. Normally none of us would drink that sort of thing, but it was a toast to the douche bags that were all out on Saturday when the painting was stolen. After that I had a few more shots. Jager, Jameson, Hornitos, some other mixed shot, and then another Jager.
I can safely say that at this point in time I was drunk because there is no other excuse for the things I did next. Honestly, who eats birthday cake and ice cream when they just drank what I did? And keep in mind it was only about 1 am at this point in time. Oh, and I was chasing my cake and ice cream with beer. Somewhere around this time is when B-Rad and I started chugging 16oz cans of Bitburger. It's also when my memory started getting strange, and time played tricks on me. During this time everyone but me, B-Rad, and Karla left. And then it happened. B-Rad pulled out the steins.
These steins are so huge they could engulf a 44oz Big Gulp with plenty of room to spare. And I do mean plenty. They're probably about the same volume as Das Boot. I think they are about 18 inches tall. And B-Rad put ice and beer in them. Why ice? Because the beer was warm, and he wanted to chug it. Apparently so did I. But half way through I had to stop to hit the can. Apparently I'm no longer in professional beer drinking shape anymore because I puked my guts out. I think it was the cake and ice cream that did it to me. The combination of that much sweet stuff, cream, and a horrendous mix of booze did me in. But at least I finished my stein when I was done. Along with another two or three beers. And then, at 4 am, we all left, and I drove home. I really miss living a block and a half away sometimes.
Last night, when I got off work at the hotel, I went up the street to The Great Nabob, collectively known as The Bar, My Bar, and My Real Home. I wasn't planning to go up there last night. I wanted to go home and unpack, and even maybe get some sleep. I did eventually sleep, but lets not skip to the end like that. The whole reason I even went up there was because my new boss said he'd be up there last night, so, obviously, he wasn't. And then events forced my hand, so I stayed for longer than I should have.
When you go to a bar where you know everyone it's a lot like Cheers, only without the corny music. But that means that you are at least partially beholden to all those people. So if someone's birthday starts at midnight, you stay, and because it's a bar, you drink. If you're anything like me (and I know all of you are) that means you drink a LOT. B-Rad, Ben, Palani, Heidi, Jeff, Jeff's dog Sadie, Carl, Clinton and his girlfriend, Devlin, Chris, Scotty, Jenny, Alicia, John, Allison, Me, and the birthday girl, Karla. That was the approximate population of the bar throughout the time I was there. Oh, and two people no one knew.
I started with three Yaze (a ginger infused vodka that I love) and tonics in about the first 20 minutes. Karla makes them doubles for me. After that I switched to beer for a bit, and had three of those in me as well by the time midnight rolled around. We had also been doing a little detective work on who had stolen the Maker's Mark painting, and had found the most likely suspect. To celebrate her birthday and the detective work Karla got everyone in the bar a Washington Apple. Normally none of us would drink that sort of thing, but it was a toast to the douche bags that were all out on Saturday when the painting was stolen. After that I had a few more shots. Jager, Jameson, Hornitos, some other mixed shot, and then another Jager.
I can safely say that at this point in time I was drunk because there is no other excuse for the things I did next. Honestly, who eats birthday cake and ice cream when they just drank what I did? And keep in mind it was only about 1 am at this point in time. Oh, and I was chasing my cake and ice cream with beer. Somewhere around this time is when B-Rad and I started chugging 16oz cans of Bitburger. It's also when my memory started getting strange, and time played tricks on me. During this time everyone but me, B-Rad, and Karla left. And then it happened. B-Rad pulled out the steins.
These steins are so huge they could engulf a 44oz Big Gulp with plenty of room to spare. And I do mean plenty. They're probably about the same volume as Das Boot. I think they are about 18 inches tall. And B-Rad put ice and beer in them. Why ice? Because the beer was warm, and he wanted to chug it. Apparently so did I. But half way through I had to stop to hit the can. Apparently I'm no longer in professional beer drinking shape anymore because I puked my guts out. I think it was the cake and ice cream that did it to me. The combination of that much sweet stuff, cream, and a horrendous mix of booze did me in. But at least I finished my stein when I was done. Along with another two or three beers. And then, at 4 am, we all left, and I drove home. I really miss living a block and a half away sometimes.
Monday, December 1, 2008
It Might Take A While...
I think that, in video games, when someone casts a sleep spell on your character they should be hit with a turkey. Alright, that might be a little nerdy for some of you to understand, but lets just stick with the fact that turkey makes me tired just like everyone else. The next time someone (other than me) says they need to go to sleep, just slap them with a turkey.
I hadn't realized how long it had been since I updated this. I'm not sorry, I'm just busy as Hell. You know, Hell is getting busier all the time; all those dead hedonists. Pretty much since the last update on what I have been up to I haven't had much rest. I am in the middle of working an eight day stretch of ten hour shifts at my soon to be finished job, I've started at the new hotel for a couple days, I've worked the door at the bar a few times, and on top of all of that I'm also moving. Oh, and don't forget Thanksgiving. You would think that with all of this going on even I wouldn't have time to screw around and get drunk as hell and do stupid shit, in which case you would be wrong.
Working at the bar is fucking awesome. I might not be able to drink on shift, but after shift is party time. On the nights I have worked there, I haven't left the bar earlier than 5:30 am. Nor have I left sober. We kick almost everyone out at 2 am, and then with some of the regulars and all the staff we get fucked up. We smoke, smoke, and drink the rest of the morning while we actually do work. There's this little Asian chick who comes in almost entirely for the after hours stuff named Mala. Interesting girl, really cute, kicking body, but FUCKED up teeth. Can't decide if I want to fuck her or not. Really, her teeth kinda scare me, but as long as she's not trying to bite me with those weird ass things, I might be able to handle it. Or I can just get really fucked up and then fuck her; I'd never notice then. One of the other things that rules about working there is the 50% discount on drinks. It's not all drinks, but it's all the ones that I drink. Oh, and my job is just cool. Mario is convinced that my job encourages one thing: abuse of power. Think about it. I control who does, and who doesn't get into the bar. Hot chicks always get in as long as they are legal. Their boyfriends.... sometimes they get in, sometimes they don't. Or ID'ing the girls that just came out for a smoke so that I can have an extra minute or so to hit on them, and enjoy the eye candy. Yes, this job is perfect for me.
Saturday night I got a fair bit more fucked up than I meant to. After I got off work at the hotel, I walked up the street (still in my work clothes, tie and all) and started working the door. I've never seen that place so crazed. Even Halloween, and Bumbershoot were tamer than Saturday night. We had pretty much run out of glasswear a couple of times, so the bartenders were making gin & tonics in Duchess glasses (it's a damn goblet for a particular beer). God only knows how many beer bottles and glasses were broken that night, but I'm the one who sweapt them all up. After that I just sat down to get fucked up. Smoke a J with the bartenders and some of the regulars, throw back a few shots, and work at keeping up with B-Rad for drinks. Unfortuneately, I actually did keep up with B-Rad. Even when he tried to climb up on the bar and yell to the four other people in the bar that he was trashed. At this point I realized I was worse off than he was since I had matched him drink for drink, but he didn't smoke anything. The hangover the next day really bit.
I really don't have much else to update you all on. I try to stick to the exciting things, but really not much has been happening. Thanksgiving I saw my family. I'm finally all moved to the new place, but not unpacked. I don't have internet there, so I am going a little crazy. When I get off work tonight I think I'm gonna go get fucked up.
As always, don't do anything I would do.
I hadn't realized how long it had been since I updated this. I'm not sorry, I'm just busy as Hell. You know, Hell is getting busier all the time; all those dead hedonists. Pretty much since the last update on what I have been up to I haven't had much rest. I am in the middle of working an eight day stretch of ten hour shifts at my soon to be finished job, I've started at the new hotel for a couple days, I've worked the door at the bar a few times, and on top of all of that I'm also moving. Oh, and don't forget Thanksgiving. You would think that with all of this going on even I wouldn't have time to screw around and get drunk as hell and do stupid shit, in which case you would be wrong.
Working at the bar is fucking awesome. I might not be able to drink on shift, but after shift is party time. On the nights I have worked there, I haven't left the bar earlier than 5:30 am. Nor have I left sober. We kick almost everyone out at 2 am, and then with some of the regulars and all the staff we get fucked up. We smoke, smoke, and drink the rest of the morning while we actually do work. There's this little Asian chick who comes in almost entirely for the after hours stuff named Mala. Interesting girl, really cute, kicking body, but FUCKED up teeth. Can't decide if I want to fuck her or not. Really, her teeth kinda scare me, but as long as she's not trying to bite me with those weird ass things, I might be able to handle it. Or I can just get really fucked up and then fuck her; I'd never notice then. One of the other things that rules about working there is the 50% discount on drinks. It's not all drinks, but it's all the ones that I drink. Oh, and my job is just cool. Mario is convinced that my job encourages one thing: abuse of power. Think about it. I control who does, and who doesn't get into the bar. Hot chicks always get in as long as they are legal. Their boyfriends.... sometimes they get in, sometimes they don't. Or ID'ing the girls that just came out for a smoke so that I can have an extra minute or so to hit on them, and enjoy the eye candy. Yes, this job is perfect for me.
Saturday night I got a fair bit more fucked up than I meant to. After I got off work at the hotel, I walked up the street (still in my work clothes, tie and all) and started working the door. I've never seen that place so crazed. Even Halloween, and Bumbershoot were tamer than Saturday night. We had pretty much run out of glasswear a couple of times, so the bartenders were making gin & tonics in Duchess glasses (it's a damn goblet for a particular beer). God only knows how many beer bottles and glasses were broken that night, but I'm the one who sweapt them all up. After that I just sat down to get fucked up. Smoke a J with the bartenders and some of the regulars, throw back a few shots, and work at keeping up with B-Rad for drinks. Unfortuneately, I actually did keep up with B-Rad. Even when he tried to climb up on the bar and yell to the four other people in the bar that he was trashed. At this point I realized I was worse off than he was since I had matched him drink for drink, but he didn't smoke anything. The hangover the next day really bit.
I really don't have much else to update you all on. I try to stick to the exciting things, but really not much has been happening. Thanksgiving I saw my family. I'm finally all moved to the new place, but not unpacked. I don't have internet there, so I am going a little crazy. When I get off work tonight I think I'm gonna go get fucked up.
As always, don't do anything I would do.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
