Non Life-Threatening Addictions

So if you are addicted to things like sky diving, or hard drugs like heroin, or maybe police chases you might have something to worry about. If you have less dangerous addictions like most of mine you just have to worry about how ridiculous some of these things might seem to others. Obviously, I don't give a crap what anyone thinks of me, which is why I still make posts here pretty much every day, despite the fact that no one reads this. But let me explain something else that can happen to you when you have an addiction to something utterly ridiculous, but so friggin AWESOME.

Mario and I are both addicted to one sports game, and only one. If you were to guess, most people would guess things like Madden, or NBA Live, or even Tiger Woods golf. These games are crap. No, we have class. We have so much class that the only sports game we play is NHL 94 on the Super Nintendo. Beat that.

Let me tell you why NHL 94 is the best sports game ever. One: It's hockey. I dare you to come up with something more violent that you can actually get a video game for (Outlaw Golf doesn't count). There's no fights or anything in NHL 94, it's all game. Second: This game takes SKILL. The reason this game takes skill is because of reason three. Three: This game hax like MAD.

And not nice hax. Nothing cute and fluffy like Hackers style. You remember the Crash Test Dummies commercials? The ones where they crash a car into a brick wall at 80mph? Yeah, that's what it's like to try and check the goalie. You hit him, and down you go. And your goalie can't do that. They bounce off him like it's nothing, without falling down. Hell, half the time they just skate past him and the puck magically goes in. The computer will hax the puck AROUND your goalie to get it in. I'm not kidding, this thing moves like a damn Frisbee. Your shots don't have this magical, curving ability, and yours can also hit the posts of the goal. Oh, and they'll hold you all the time and then check you into the ground when they get bored of holding. Speaking of checking, the game will also be virtually impossible to check sometimes; meaning you can get a cross rink speed dash going and then hit some guy only to have YOUR player crash to the ice. Or you can hit the computer player over and over and have him just keep skating down to score. And then the worst thing: penalty shots. Even when you turn penalties off, the game still gets them, but you don't. Not a chance of it. Total Hax.

So why do we play a game that cheats worse than those guys in Diablo 2 who use dupes and trainers and hack programs? Because it's a challenge. A challenge the likes of which you just don't find much anymore. Or at least you don't find them without putting them onto the hardest difficulty level there is. Playing this game on the normal mode is like playing any of the Halo games on Legendary, but IT'S ALWAYS LIKE THAT. And the reward? The reward is slamming someone so hard into the glass that it makes that wet meat sound. Or that hard blast that puts someone on their back with the lovely little sign that pops up along with the whistle declaring them injured and out for the game. Or better yet, taking the worst team in the league, the Dallas Stars, and managing to win the Stanley Cup, no matter how much the game hax, or how many times it plays The Devil Polka. Yeah, that's right, The Devil Polka. That's reason enough to play it.

Trust me, Devil Polka Hax or not, this game PWNS monkey nutz, and is definitely worth the addiction. Check it out.